a few days have passed

While fighting the cold, definitely went off the wagon. There was a day (last Thursday) that I ate (yeah this is really gross...) a taco salad, an M&M chocolate chip cookie, a slice of Domino's pizza, and a cupcake from Sweet. Hahaha. I did walk 2 miles that day. Then the weekend came with Josh & Missy's wedding (highlight was actually the first course - a stack of grilled eggplant, yellow pepper, fresh mozarella, and pancetta. Now that I have my George Foreman grill, I can't wait to try to make that) with lots of associated drinking.

I realized in therapy today that I have anxiety asssociated with getting back into exercising because I made the assocation, subconsciously, between the 5 mile run and the rotten cold. I'm glad to have realized it because I will try to be more aware of these things and be gentler with my body.

Today was a better eating day. Skipped breakfast which wasn't great. Had a salad and Sunchips for lunch. TJ's stir fry veggie shrimp stir fry and brown rice (leftover from the awesome dinner I made on Monday night for Brian: porkchops on the bone stuffed with lemon sage butter, brown rice, broccoli, and flourless chocolate cake for dessert. Of which I ate about 4 pieces... oops!)

I feel like if the day was longer (as in, not dark at 7) and not quite as chilly, I could have ran today. I am going to try to go for a run tomorrow morning. If I get to bed early enough tonight, that will be the goal. So off to work to finish up my homework and hopefully get to bed before 10 :)

Ate lots of (yummy) junk food... E.g quesadillas, phylo goat cheese triangles, at speed networking yesterday. And 2 pumpkin beers. Somehow this turned on the "I want more" mechanism as has the major munchies at midnight. Ate crackers salsa and soymilk.
Today recognizing the importance of balancing, being grateful for my health and respecting my health. Still fighting a cold. Having some good strong coffee and a cinnamon roll at city feed. Want to run later but if I can't, will walk. Have soooo much work to do, but took this hour anyway to chill as I think it is important after the frenetic nature of yesterday.

yeah, i dunno

have a head cold today, felt exhausted from work and running around. ate a lot. didn't go running. might go tomorrow morning

breakfast - mini lunabar, 1 pc toast with pb some canteloupe and mandarin orange
lunch - asian chicken salad (yum) and chicken chipotle sandwich from panera (also v. good) but was focused on convo did not have time to eat
snack- granola bar
snack - wheat thins

d - some cheese + crackers, peanut noodles w/ chicken, lima beans & corn

around 10pm had more cheese and crackers

feed a cold starve a fever?

feeling down on myself. on the good side, got table cleaned off and dishwasher sorted out. tomorrow is another day.

also

Almost 1 month since starting this blog! Excited about that. By the end of the second month (Oct 23) I would like to see myself have run 7 miles. And the cool part is, I know I can do it

5 MILES BABY!

Yeah! I feel good... and felt good for most of the run. Part being in better shape, part luck.
Only at one point (on Centre St. on the way home) did I feel discouraged, and that was slight.

Have not blogged in days. Wed went out with Mal & Bunny, had 2 glasses of wine (Estancia zinfandel, very good) and Asian potstickers with sticky rice at Parrish. Thursday went out with Brian to Ivy.. had he pork with chocolate sauce sounds weird but was very, very good. Risotto / orange appetizer thing was delicious too. Friday had TJ's quesadilla for lunch, made in toaster oven, v. good for a frozen quesadilla, had cheese + crackers and wine for dinner (wanted Estancia but they didn't have it, got Joel Gott instead which was quite good). Had half a bottle of wine + a gin and tonic on Friday night. Yesterday Andrew came over and we made crepes for breakfast... one savory, filled with scrambled egg and harvarti dill cheese, with chicken sausage on the side, and one sweet, filled with strawberries and chocolate ganche (made an easy chocolate ganache mixing baker' chocolate, whole milk, and 1 tsp sugar over a double boiler). Went to Wonderspice for Thai for dinner. Got the mango curry which was disappointing.

Today went to the Allston street fair and tried a variety of interesting street fair food. No funnel cakes here... they had salad and gourmet sherbet and vegetarian asian food (interesting but not motivated to go to the restaurant).

I am totally a foodie. I love food. I think I can cultivate that without guilt as long as I keep up the physical activity.

This week the goal will be to eat yogurt every day. I really feel like I lost more weight the weeks I ate yogurt than the weeks I didn't. Of course can't know this for sure since I'm not weighing myself.

One thing I realized this week is that I am starting to say no to plans, or make creative changes to plans, in order to eat better and save money. I can't remember exactly when I turned down plans, but I know I did it. Making crepes was an example of adapting plans to save money... instead of spending $18 each on brunch at Centre St cafe (delicious though it is) we spent $12 total on crepe ingredients.

Maybe tomorrow I will go to a yoga class either instead of or in addition to running.

loooong day

did eat ice cream yesterday - maple walnut with hot fudge. mmmmmmm. afterward, felt a combination of a little bit of a sugar rush / crash along with a brief but real desire to eat more (as though the crave cells were unleashed). there was a little bit of guilt too but really tried to temper it.

today was snacky snack snack day... could do this better by having lower calorie snacks maybe available. also dont need to be eating dinner now at 10:30 but damnit i feel like i am entitled to dinner
b- cheerios & chocolate miniwheats
l - grilled chicken salad w/ spinach and asian viniagrette (yum!)
s- coffee & milk, more cereal
s- cashews - (160 cal, small pack)
s- cookies & wheat thins in class
d- risotto (am going to try not to repeat the TJ's pizza fiasco)

tomorrow am supposed to meet m at 9pm... have therapy meeting till 7:30 and really want to squeeze a run in. can i do it? i think i can if i bring clothes to change into at therapy, go right from there to run and run all the way home, take a quick shower. tomorrow's run will be about speed.

ran 4.1 miles!

Yayah! and WOOT! I don't think I've ever run that far before. That's 6.5 K, well more than half of my 10k. Went slow - it was as though my body was trying to conserve energy knowing it would need to go longer - and at a few points was feeling bad about it and was like DUDE, ITS A GOOD THING if you are in a comfortable stride and not killing yourself.

ate a super yummy spinach and grilled chicken salad (seriously, seriously in love with Trader Joe's. Their grilled chicken tastes like actual CHICKCEN and not that fake processed crap). Did put real ranch dressing on it, hey had to do something to feel satisfied if eating a dinner with no carbs. Let's see if I'm hungry in an hour. If I get my homework done by 10 I MIGHT treat myself to JP Licks - I've resisted the temptation many times and if ever there were a day I deserved it, it would be today. I'd have to walk down there though.

a small, but significant success

As always scrambling to find something that coordinates to wear in the morning, I came across a pair of size 12 dress pants that I haven't tried to fit into for months. Guess what - they fit! Woohoo!
Its been less than a month and already visible signs of progress. At this rate (although I don't want to get my hopes up too high) I could realistically be into a size 10 by December.

B- cheerios
S- fruit, peanut butter, & toasted coconut (I have to find out what kind of peanut butter they use, it is awesome)
L- salad & 1 slice pizza (successfully held off on second slice!)
S- sm piece of pita bread and hummus.

Kind of feels like I ate a lot today. Want to work towards eating lighter. Will probably have a grilled chicken salad for dinner. Also, planning to add some distance to my run, and change things up a bit, by going down the J-way after I go around the pond. Put all of my itunes onto my ipod and am enjoying that... it might even be better to run when the music is not so frenetic.

delicious fruit salad

sat outside in the sunshine doing homework. had a snack of a lime rickey and herbed popcorn (OK, made me feel kinda full)

got pizza and salad for dinner and made a fruit salad for dessert - TJ's mango (delish) a ripe grapefruit from TJ (also delish), peach, and banana. i call it sunset fruit salad. and i am excited to make it for myself with some peanut butter and coconut.

yea~

still doing well this weekend. my run yesterday was really good, and i wound up adding an extra half mile b/c i had to go get my car. went to the party with c. had 2 (big) glasses of red wine, and some almonds that he had bought for a snack, that was it (didn't have dinner). tried one of his veggie smoothies... it was... interesting.

today breakfast had coffee and TJ's smoked salmon crepes (not fantastic but worth trying... will cook in a pan next time). lunch had TJ's chicken sausage on whole wheat toast and a bunch of edamame. may likely have a snacky snack this afternoon while studying, and pizza for dinner.

mmm strata

did well yesterday! bfast - cheerios. snack - crackers & hummus. lunch - chicken burger . snack - crackers. went to sox game had 1 beer (yea!) and soft pretzel. and some peanuts. then passed out from exhaustion.

today - bfast - toast with jelly, butter, & peanut butter, & coffee. went to brunch and had delicious strata with side salad. will do some homework then run later

can you eat a whole pizza? i can

and i did, yesterday. after compromising with just one more small piece, okay, one more small piece. and then the trader joe's frozen pizza was gone. i felt really sick after that (most likely from something i had eaten the day before) so hopefully i will have somatic memories discouraging that again!

today was okay for most of the day... for breakfast had fruit, peanut butter, and toasted coconut from the breakfast bar - really tasty! - had a yogurt for snack and big salad with cheddar cheese and balsamic viniagrette for lunch. after class got some wheat thin crisps from the vending machine for a snack. didn't get to run as was going to C's to watch Project Runway. But since I was in that neck of the woods did my grocery shopping at Trader Joe's (woot!) multigrain chips and salsa were my dinner. yeah i coulda done a better job than that.

am stressing because no time to run again at least until saturday, and maybe not then. THANK GOODNESS i ran yesterday!

bringing lunch is important

had not gotten around to grocery shopping
bfast - peach yogurt (prob wouldn't get again, but nice attempt)
bought lunch - buffalo chicken wrap which was really quite tasty but i should have eaten half, not the whole thing. and some chips, many of which i tossed
snack - 2 spring rolls
dinner - half a TJ's spinach and feta pizza (hopefully also tasty, haven't eaten it yet)

skipped meeting to run today.. intended to go to the pond but it was major sketch where there are no lights. ran the bike path along the side of the road instead (was psyched to find out that it is 3.4 miles out and back!) during the winter when it gets dark early i'll either have to do my pond runs on weekend days or find a running buddy.

run wasn't bad. for the first time did some "sprinting" along the last few blocks. that was awesome.

some not so great eating days

dinner with L last night. had a delicious rice-feta appetizer thing. tried to be good and have a chicken-walnut-apple-gorgonzola salad but was not so into the blue cheese dressing and so it wasn't so satisfying. split key lime pie for dessert and then had most of a dunkin donuts toffee donut (...really good)

breakfast today was oatmeal with raisins & brown sugar. potluck lunch so had a big plateful of things pasta-cheesy-meatball-sausage oriented (nice to have a dose of comfort food) then had a chocolate mint brownie, a piece of flan cake, also had 3 fried spring rolls (1 at lunch and 2 as a snack later)

tried to get by on an energy bar instead of dinner but got home from class really hungry so made a chicken burger on whole wheat. really need to get that george foreman grill up here, or in the meantime get pam because i know i am ingesting a lot of needless extra calories by cooking everything in olive oil.

did manage to throw my clothes in the wash (running stuff was getting really stinky, need to buy some extra!) and planning to run when i get home from the awis meeting even though it will be pretty late.

ran 12.5 minute miles today!

or roughly that. run went pretty well today all things considered.

yesterday ate bagel, smoked salmon and cream cheese for breakfast. went out for cocktails (had 2) and shared calamari, felt good that i was able to hold back from really eating the calamari, really only had a few. went to dinner and had the most amazing hawaiian maranated smoky juicy steak i've ever had. for all the struggles i've had with food lately (and for as long as i can remember) THIS was totally worth it. shared a bottle of wine with L.

today had 2 pieces of toast, 1 with hummus and one with peanut butter, so far that's been it. going to dinner.

L's visiting

which has made it a challenge... yesterday made egg frittata for brunch - egg, potato, onion, peppers and cheese (made w/ olive oil & butter) had w/ toast and coffee.

went running, it was hot out and tough having skipped wednesday. i was slow and i walked a bit, but i finished up okay.

didn't eat dinner. Had 6 beers and 2 sangrias. then ate mcdonalds around midnight.

today so far have had egg & cheese on a coissaint (left off the bacon, that counts for something right?) 2 iced coffees... just got something small when we went to rattlesnake - an avocado lobster appetizer and the cornbread (which, unfortunately was not that good) for dinner ordered a bbq chicken sandwich with cheese and a greek salad.

a good day

bfast - cheerios (dry) coffee with milk
snack - yogurt
lunch - turkey & hummus on wheat, sunchips
snack - honey roasted peanuts
dinner - some middle eastern pizza thing, iced coffee with milk

walked ~3 miles around cambridge

ugh didnt run today

was gonna go salsa dancing but didn't make it
breakfast - coffee, milk, bagel with little bit of cream cheese and smoked salmon
lunch - turkey on wheat with hummus, chips. diet dr. pepper
snack - crackers and hummus
dinner - pan seared tuna with garlic and chili pepper flakes, pasta (not a ton this time!)
late night snack - chocolate frosted miniwheats and skim milk.

running on Friday and Sunday!

bleh

Woke up feeling fat and bleh this morning. Maybe thats because after drowning myself in pasta roni I had to make Jello cookies and cream pudding last night.... :::sigh:::

This is clearly a mind over matter thing. What is the root of the eating at night and how do I get past it?

Its such a weird thing because the drive to offer my body the instant gratification that it wants is so intense.

I had to have that second serving of Pasta Roni...

I just had to. I know the nutritional benefit is probably negative. AND I was already full.
But maybe, just maybe, having a nice filling dinner (even if it did include copious amounts of Pasta Roni) will stave off the snacking fixation later.

Overall the day went pretty well:
Breakfast: coffee / milk, 2 slices whole wheat toast with 1 oz cheese
Lunch - came home had chicken burger cooked in olive oil over cabbage & shredded carrot with TJ's peanut viniagrette (LOVE that stuff)

Snacks - yogurt & crackers
Dinner - Pan seared tuna with peas, pasta roni, and TJ's SP Viniagrette.

And now I don't want to do dishes.