ugh

Pants this morning were DEFINITELY too tight... all the holiday and post-breakup eating has caught up with me. At least I know when I've hit a breaking point.

Followed "the plan" today - oatmeal for breakast, grilled chicken salad for lunch, spicy rice & beans with sauteed onions and peppers, low fat cheese and salsa for dinner.

Only thing I'm not thrilled about was eating cheez-its after dinner.

Bought a giselle - cheap, foldable elliptical-like thing, I have this idea that between that and Netflix I can actually at least get in some daily physical activity. Debated buying a real elliptical but didn't want to put it together or have the ugly thing sitting around the room all the time.

popchips

i ate popchips for dinner today. they are 120 calories per serving, and there are 3 servings in a bag, so i ate 360 calories worth of popchips. which isn't actually too bad.

still felt pretty gross though.

BUT i walked too and from therapy and i went grocery shopping to make grilled chicken for lunches and fajita style rice and beans for dinners, however by the time i got home was too exhausted to start carmelizing onions. will do that tomorrow.

i did grill the chicken for lunches :)

....aaaand, we're back

after something of a hiatus when i decided to start dating someone i'm starting anew. i don't know what it is but i can never keep my shit straight to date and focus on health and fitness at the same time. for a couple of weeks i felt the pull... i would want to see him on a wednesday night which would sacrifice my running night. after awhile i seemed to forget all about running. and forget about eating out.

it didn't work out with he and i, and last night i was stressing / having some regret about having fallen off the wagon. but you know what, i spent some time feeding my soul and connecting with a new person, and that's important too.

it also has not helped at all that the nice warm "inspire me to run" weather has been replaced by cold, wet, yucky fall. minus the wet i think I can still run in it, i will have to make it my priority to get some weather appropriate clothes. and / or start thinking more seriously about either joining a gym or finding some other way of doing fitness indoors.

other thoughts i've had recently were that i hate the large amount of "airtime" that food gets in my consciousness. its like i'm always thinking about what i will be eating next or what i've eaten last, how healthy it is or is not, and basically just freaking out about it. i know the solution to this is to plan ahead and thats what i plan to do. bought some chicken thighs and butternut squash (frozen - no peeling!) to roast for dinners this week, turkey for lunch, and oatmeal for breakfast. have yogurt, rice cakes and almond butter (new accidental discovery - major yum!) for snacks. so even if i don't blog every day, that's what i'll be eating. until my cousin's wedding this weekend which will be a whole other fiasco ;-)

this morning i made apple cinnamon oatmeal with a fresh apple from when we went apple picking a couple of weeks ago. plus a strong cup of new england macadamia nut coffee with milk (I had been hoping they'd have pumpkin coffee but this one is pretty tasty). i feel satisfied and energized to write that paper for my symbiosis class :)

argh too much is going on...

I did pretty good yesterday.... if I recall correctly I had 2 scrambled eggs, wheat toast w butter, salsa and coffee for breakfast. I had a cheeseburger with bacon and sauteed onions for dinner but I did substitute a side salad for french fries (and it was good!). Had 2.5 pumpkin beers and one glass of red wine.

Today I went out for brunch with Carolyn. I tried grits with cheddar cheese - they were good! We split banana bread pancakes with coconut butter and italian sausage scrambled egg quesadillas. Went apple picking, had yummy apples. For dinner I made garlic ginger fried rice with fresh green beans and TJ's carne asada. This should last for 4-5 meals.

Tomorrow I need to go into the lab at 6am, then go to a meeting in Worcester. Tomorrow night my plan is to make red wine cupcakes. Oye. Need to finish all my Tuesday homework tonight in order to accomplish that.

a few days have passed

While fighting the cold, definitely went off the wagon. There was a day (last Thursday) that I ate (yeah this is really gross...) a taco salad, an M&M chocolate chip cookie, a slice of Domino's pizza, and a cupcake from Sweet. Hahaha. I did walk 2 miles that day. Then the weekend came with Josh & Missy's wedding (highlight was actually the first course - a stack of grilled eggplant, yellow pepper, fresh mozarella, and pancetta. Now that I have my George Foreman grill, I can't wait to try to make that) with lots of associated drinking.

I realized in therapy today that I have anxiety asssociated with getting back into exercising because I made the assocation, subconsciously, between the 5 mile run and the rotten cold. I'm glad to have realized it because I will try to be more aware of these things and be gentler with my body.

Today was a better eating day. Skipped breakfast which wasn't great. Had a salad and Sunchips for lunch. TJ's stir fry veggie shrimp stir fry and brown rice (leftover from the awesome dinner I made on Monday night for Brian: porkchops on the bone stuffed with lemon sage butter, brown rice, broccoli, and flourless chocolate cake for dessert. Of which I ate about 4 pieces... oops!)

I feel like if the day was longer (as in, not dark at 7) and not quite as chilly, I could have ran today. I am going to try to go for a run tomorrow morning. If I get to bed early enough tonight, that will be the goal. So off to work to finish up my homework and hopefully get to bed before 10 :)

Ate lots of (yummy) junk food... E.g quesadillas, phylo goat cheese triangles, at speed networking yesterday. And 2 pumpkin beers. Somehow this turned on the "I want more" mechanism as has the major munchies at midnight. Ate crackers salsa and soymilk.
Today recognizing the importance of balancing, being grateful for my health and respecting my health. Still fighting a cold. Having some good strong coffee and a cinnamon roll at city feed. Want to run later but if I can't, will walk. Have soooo much work to do, but took this hour anyway to chill as I think it is important after the frenetic nature of yesterday.

yeah, i dunno

have a head cold today, felt exhausted from work and running around. ate a lot. didn't go running. might go tomorrow morning

breakfast - mini lunabar, 1 pc toast with pb some canteloupe and mandarin orange
lunch - asian chicken salad (yum) and chicken chipotle sandwich from panera (also v. good) but was focused on convo did not have time to eat
snack- granola bar
snack - wheat thins

d - some cheese + crackers, peanut noodles w/ chicken, lima beans & corn

around 10pm had more cheese and crackers

feed a cold starve a fever?

feeling down on myself. on the good side, got table cleaned off and dishwasher sorted out. tomorrow is another day.